Monday, June 2, 2008

Monday Morning Smiting Coming Down

June 2nd, 2008

Dear Flying Spaghetti Monster:

You know I usually just telepathically send you these requests. However at this time, I feel the need to write them down, so I don't forget, as I am wont to do. So to begin this weeks Smiting Requests -

Please smite the Three Headed Hydra of my part of the Blogosphere - Google, Blooger and Haloscan. But please smite them in a nice way, so that they straighten out and work consistently. Maybe sneak up on them very quietly and then shout "BOO!" or something like that would cure their nasty "hiccups."

For the rest of the Smiting, please get all Pastafurious on their asses:

Please smite whoever is responsible for Sam Seder going off the air.
Please smite Jonah Goldberg for being such a tool.
Please smite Michelle Malkin for scoring a victory against donut loving Democrats.
Please smite the jerks at Gitmo who have been torturing a young man.
Please smite Rush Limbaugh for the usual I reasons I ask you every week.
Please smite Bill Kristol and Michael Goldfarb, and smite them mightily.

If you can't get all the miting requests done, please consider just smiting Goldfarb, for saying stuff like this:

The Times indicts the Bush administration for exposing terrorists captured
abroad to "head-slapping, simulated drowning and frigid temperatures." Boo

Boo hoo? About Torture? And he's a fan of Dictators? SMITE HIM! Just like you eventually smote the Russians, after you did a good job of scaring them first.

Thanks as usual -

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